St Madalberta's Ladies' College
by spineyrequiem
Summary: You really though Oarai was the only school to take up Senshado after the government pushed it? St Madalberta's, along with many others began or resurrected a Senshado department when they heard of the extra funding it could give. But do such wet-behind-the-ears newbies have what it takes to win next year's National Championship? No. But they can try to lose valiantly.
1. Prologue: The Societies Fair

'Senshado…' A cool female voice narrated over flickering footage of boxy, tracked vehicles. 'Throughout its long history, it has been used all over the world as a way to train girls.' The camera panned over a group of uniformed women standing at proud attention and a fly buzzed haphazardly through the heat of the school hall. 'It is a martial art which strives to nurture polite, graceful, humble and brave women.' Five girls bowed in unison to the camera, then to the tank looming behind them before eagerly running to it and swarming into the hatches. 'Learning Senshado will give an edge to your femininity.' The white gloved commander shouted an advance order and with a great roaring screech the tank began to move forward 'You'll become as hot and hard as steel,' A girl at the front, her colour emblazoned with the yellow patch of the student council absent-mindedly scratched her nose 'As robust and lovely as caterpillar tracks,' A girl's chest buzzed and lit up. Her expression remained absolutely neutral as she extracted her phone with all the grace of a monkey with its fist caught. 'And as passionate and accurate as a cannon!' With a great BOOM the tank's main gun fired, rudely awakening those who'd taken the opportunity for a nap. 'If you learn Senshado, you will without doubt become a great wife, a great mother and a great career woman!' A platoon of tanks swept by a cheering crowd, 'You will be a healthy, kind and dependable woman who will appeal to many men!' Tank crew waved from hatches at the crowd which seemed to be made up exclusively of enthusiastic male models. 'Now let's all learn Senshado, and become sound and beautiful women in both mind and body!' The view changed to a white screen, the slogan 'Step up, maidens!' emblazoned proudly across it. A pair of girls from the student council stepped onto the stage and fiddle with the microphone stand for a moment.

'Hi all!' said the nervous-looking, short-haired brunette. 'We're the Student Council representatives for Senshado. I'm Yoko Takahashi.'

'And I'm Mari Yamamoto.' Her companion had red-highlighted blonde hair and the expression of someone who'd got this job by drawing a short straw. 'We'll be at the door with the signing-up sheet as you leave,' Yoko waved a clipboard hopefully. 'So please do sign up. We'd like as many as possible. We'll also be on hand to answer any questions you have.'

The pair turned to go. The council president rolled her eyes, turned, and glared at them until Yoko clicked her fingers as she remembered something and ran back to the microphone 'Oh yes, practices will be on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday evenings, immediately after lessons, although this might change later.' She ran off the stage, blushing and mouthing _sorry_ at the president. After some commotion at the projector, the screen lit up once more. 'Flower arranging: The delicate art…'

'Hey, Hiromi!' The whisper was accompanied by a sharp prod to the back. Hiromi spun to look at Ayaka, a lanky, curly-haired girl with a friendly heart-shaped face. 'Senshado looks awesome!'

Hiromi considered this for a moment. On the one hand, the film was clearly pure propaganda. And why had the school suddenly started it? The student council reps seemed far from ecstatic. On the other hand, that tank did look wonderfully…

'Let's sign up!' Natsumi had carefully plaited black hair and eyes alight with the thought of heavy armour. 'Come on Hiromi, it'll be fun!'

The film panned luxuriantly around a vase of flowers, tinkly music wafting from the speakers. This was interrupted by the president as she leapt onto the stage. 'Right, we're overtime. Flower arranging is taken by Madori Ochi and a couple of others, they're at the door, it's on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, everyone get out.'

With a great avalanche of talking the room leapt to its feet, rushed to the door and almost at once arranged itself into a perfect traffic jam. Red-collared Discipline Committee members shouted and tried to shove people into some sort of logical order, adding considerably to the commotion. Hiromi was swept along by the great mass and had to fight to keep with her friends. She heard snatches of conversation from all sides

'Really, I'm getting dreadfully bored of ballroom dancing these days…'

'Do you think we could rearrange game night?'

'I'm just saying, if a vampire ever…'

Student council members with clipboards and shell-shocked expressions stood at the door, their lapels resplendent with club patches. Hiromi saw Yoko frantically taking down names while trying to stop her clipboard being knocked out of her hands by the mass of people around her.

'Oh, well Daddy's got a couple which he's been using as tractors, on the estate you know. I'm sure he'd be willing to lend them to you. I'll call him tonight.' Speaking to Yoko was a tall, elegant-looking girl, the black and white of ballroom dancing sewn neatly onto her lapel beside a selection of others which Hiromi didn't recognise. 'So, you said we're starting next week?' Yoko nodded and the elegant girl strolled off, somehow avoiding being jostled by those around her.

'Hello there! We'd like to sign up for Senshado please!' Natsumi tapped Yoko on the shoulder to get her attention.

'Hello… that's wonderful, could I have your names please?' Yoko's lapel had a new patch, striped grey and red with a stylised black cog in the centre.

'Natsumi Sato.'

'Hiromi Koga.'

'Ayaka Oonishi.' The replies came fast and Yoko scratched at her clipboard frantically. Suddenly she lost her grip on her pen.

'Oh…' she said as it tumbled to the ground and rolled into the stampede. 'Do any of you have a pen?'

'Yes. Yours.' A girl with glasses and a short ponytail proffered the pen, heavily-chewed end first. 'Aimi Shigeyo. I'd also like to sign up.'

'Thank you!' Yoko hastily scribbled the name down 'Do any of you know anyone with a tank they could lend us, or know of any going cheap?' The group in front of her shook their collective heads. 'Not to worry, not to worry… see you on Tuesday next week then. Hello, and who might you be?' Hiromi was gently pushed aside by a somewhat dumpy-looking girl with a butterfly hairclip failing to keep her hair out of her eyes.

_(Thought for the day: Battles are won by warriors. Wars are won by businessmen)_


	2. Chapter 1: Meeting the tanks

'Miss Sato, what is that on your paper?'

Natsumi looked up with a start. 'Umm… it's a Tiger II heavy tank, Miss Fujii.'

The teacher nodded, 'And what is driving it?'

'A squirrel, Miss Fujii.'

'And why is a squirrel, driving a Tiger II heavy tank, on the paper where you are meant to be taking notes on the commercial uses of microorganism cultures?'

Natsumi paused to think for a moment. 'Ummm… it's interested in learning to produce antibiotics?' She flashed a hopeful smile.

'Very good, Miss Sato! Spur-of-the-moment, on-topic humour! But why should I keep you to myself? I'm sure others would love to benefit from your sparkling wit! Such as the discipline committee, at 6:30 tomorrow morning. I'm sure you'll have them rolling in the aisles. Now, can anyone tell me the advantages of a fed-batch culture over a more traditional batch culture?'

A few hands meandered skywards. 'Miss Nakamura?'

'You can regulate the rate of growth?'

'Excellent! And why is this a good thing?'

'It forces growth to keep pace with the rate at which oxygen is supplied.' The girl paused, cleared her throat and continued at a motion from the teacher. 'To prevent the microorganisms from respiring anaerobically. Which is usually bad.'

The bell rang, cutting off whatever Miss Fujii was about to say. As the class threw their books into their bags and prepared to rush the door, there came a shout of 'Remember, that essay is due up on Friday, make sure to have proper sources!'

'C'mon, let's go! First Senshado session!' Natsumi swung her bag onto her back and strode off at high speed. Picking up their bags, Ayaka and Hiyumi followed at a more sedate pace. 'Come ON!' shouted Natsumi, 'We don't want to be late for the first one!'

Down the corridor, out the front door and across the concrete yard of C block, Natsumi skipping and humming to herself. 'So, do you know anything about tanks?' Ayaka was going at a sort of quick lope, a great advantage of her long legs.

'Not a thing.' Said Hiromi, between heaving breaths. 'They have tracks and big guns.'

'Wonder what we'll get?' Natsumi had the know-it-all air of someone who'd just read a book and wanted to tell the world about it. 'Probably not Tigers or anything like that. They're really expensive, barely ever go on the market. We could get T34s or something though, there were loads of them made. And they're fairly good. Especially the later T34-85, with the three-man turret…'

Natsumi continued to prattle on in this fashion as the trio made their way down the tree-lined path to the garages. Clustered in the yard in front of them were around twenty girls, milling about in the manner of people everywhere who aren't totally sure what they're meant to be doing. Two were standing separate from the group, glaring in the direction of the garages. As they got nearer, Hiromi noticed the red collars of the Discipline Committee.

With a loud grinding noise, one of the garage doors opened and from inside came the disgruntled rumbling of an engine starting up. The group slowly went silent as the clatter of tracks announced movement. At last, a tank! What could it be, a Chi-nu, a Churchill, perhaps even… a Panther? Slowly, the tank's nose began to edge out, like a particularly nervous snail emerging from its shell. It turned, and hanging from its turret could be seen the form of Mari, a megaphone held loosely in her free hand. The tank completed its turn and began to creep towards them.

'Gosh, it's slow.' commented a girl with twin pigtails and wonderful posture. A murmuring from the rest of the group indicated that such was the general consensus.

'Do you think it would be easier if we just came to them?' The girl whose name Hiromi vaguely remembered as being Aimi suggested. So saying, she moved off and the rest of the group drifted after her. The two Discipline Committee members, their hair cut to the recommended length of just below the shoulder, marched to the front of the group. Mari looked faintly irritated that her grand entrance had been spoiled.

'What sort of tank is that, then?' Ayaka whispered

'I THINK it's a Renault FT.' replied Natsumi. 'Judging from the shape, the hatch design and the absolutely pitiful speed. Our other tanks had better be less awful than that, or I will really regret this decision.'

'Get into line!' shouted one of the Discipline Committee members. The pair were shoving the group into some sort of order; they were hampered somewhat by all of them insisting on staying with their friends. Eventually, three ranks were formed and the red-collared girls ran to stand at attention in front of them. Hiromi found herself in the back, between Ayaka and a dumpy-looking, vaguely familiar girl who smiled at her.

'Alright girls, hello!'

Mari's greeting was met with a chorus of Variations on a Theme of 'Hello, Yamamoto-san'

'Thank you, all, for turning up on time. Although we seem to be two people over. Who might you two be?'

'I am Shizuko Hara.'

'And I am Rin Watanabe. We represent the school Discipline Committee, to ensure that you follow all regulations appropriately.'

'Really? Don't you trust us? Not to worry, we have the perfect tank for you. Oh yes…' From within the driver's compartment came the sound of Yoko pointedly clearing her throat. 'Right, anyway… we've got four tanks now, excluding ours and the Discipline Committee's, so if you could divide yourselves into four groups we would be much obliged. Oh yes, and Higa-san, please do thank your father for those tanks, they really are a great help. '

The Discipline Committee's neat lines dissolved and the girls split themselves up. 'Three probably won't be enough, will it?' asked Hiromi

'Depends what we've got. Probably not, though'

'Excuse me?' Probably-Aimi tapped Hiromi on the shoulder. 'I'm Aimi Shigeyo. I signed up just after you, remember? Would you mind if I crewed with you?'

Hiromi looked to either side. Ayaka shrugged. 'That would be lovely! I'm Hiromi Koga.'

'Ayaka Oonishi'

'Natsumi Sato'

'Right, all together and happy?' Vague mumblings greeted Mari's question. 'Good! Pick out a commander and send them over.'

'Who wants to command?' asked Hiromi

'I'm driving.' Natsumi had the air of someone who would not budge an inch on this point. 'The other positions are commander, obviously, gunner and loader.'

'Would you mind if I gunned?' asked Aimi 'I used to do Rifle Club, so I've got a bit of experience at shooting.'

'I guess that'd be OK.' Said Hiromi. 'That leaves us with loader and commander.'

Ayaka pulled a coin from her pocket. 'You call.'

'Heads.' Said Hiromi as the glittering coin sailed into the air. With a light _clink_ it hit the ground and the girls clustered round to look.

'Heads it is. Congratulations, commander Hiromi!'

Slightly stunned, Hiromi walked over to the Renault, where Yoko had popped the driver's hatch and was holding out a school cap with a few slips of paper nestled in the bottom. She passed a short, manic-looking girl who'd apparently just drawn a 'Sherman Jumbo', whatever that was.

'Pick a tank, any tank.'

Hiromi reached in and unfolded a slip. 'It says... Sutridzvarjen? Stridzvargun?'

'Let me have a look.' Said Yoko. 'I think it's... Shtridsvarn. Yeah. Anyway, it's in garage three. Instruction manual's on the seat. Give it a look over then try to drive it out. Next!' Behind Hiromi, the elegant girl stepped forward with a smile. 'Ah, Higa-san. Thanks again for the tanks...'

'So what've we got?' Natsumi craned her neck in an attempt to peer over Hiromi's shoulder.

'It's a... this.' Hiromi vaguely waved the paper in front of her crew. Natsumi pulled it out of her hands and squinted at it.

'I have no idea how to pronounce that.'

'Whatever it is, it's in garage three. Come on!' Hiromi strode off towards the line of garages, the rest of the crew following her like chicks following a hen which looked a lot more confident than it felt

Garage three was a large, brick building with a darkened interior and the shape of the Stridsvagn m/42 looming inside it. 'Apparently it was the main Swedish tank after 1943, and was the first of theirs to be equipped with a 75mm gun. It's fast and well-armoured for its time.'

Ayaka looked at Natsumi accusingly. 'You just looked that up online.'

'I refuse to confirm or deny that fact.' Natsumi shoved her phone back into a pocket as she levered open the driver's hatch and slid inside. 'It's really dark in here! Can we get some lights so I can actually read this manual?' Aimi ran her hands over the walls until she eventually found a switch and flicked it on.

The Stridsvagn stood just over eight feet tall to the turret, from which projected an impressively large main gun and a pair of machine-gun barrels. This turret looked suspiciously new, unlike the rest of the tank. Its paint was scratched and the tracks were caked with old mud, which after some experimentation they discovered was nearly as hard as the armour plate. The manual, after Natsumi extracted it from under her, had a picture of a quartet of cheerful lions in uniform driving a stylised version of their tank and the enthusiastic title 'Instructions for operation of Stridsvagn m/42, manual!' which did not inspire much confidence. Especially when a brief flick through it showed that every use of the word 'centre' had been translated as 'happy', for reasons unknown. In spite of this, the interior seemed fairly well-maintained, although the cramped turret did smell distressingly of pigs.

'Something about "Please press the happy clutch pedal to the floor, place the right shift lever in first gear in front of the current." I'm guessing that means... THIS!' Natsumi hauled on the lever to her left and stabbed at the button for ignition, keeping a precarious two-fingered grip on the manual. With much indignant coughing, the engine came to life. Hiromi leaned down to hear what Natsumi was shouting over the roar of the engine '"Now slowly add the oil when the clutch release levers to drive before you get a firm grip." Anyone?'

'"Oil" could mean "Acceleration", I guess? Try the other pedal!'

Natsumi's other foot pushed down and the roar increased in volume. She reached her hands forward and took hold of the drive levers 'They won't go forward!'

Ayaka leaned down, snaking her head around Hiromi's 'Try pulling them back first! Apparently that'll disengage the brakes!' The glow of her phone screen cast crazy shadows in the turret.

Natsumi hauled on the levers then pushed them forward. With a lurch, the tank jolted forward and Hiromi and Ayaka bumped heads with a mutual cry of pain. They retreated into the turret and Hiromi stood up to look out of the commander's hatch. All the other tanks had already got out. On their left was the tall, solid-fronted form of a Sherman Jumbo, a short 75mm gun jutting from its turret. Next to it, an elderly Canadian Ram Tank, with the same new-looking turret as their Stridsvagn lurched into its position. Lurking behind them was the low, malevolent form of a StuG III, like an alligator sunning itself on a tourist beach. On their right was the Renault, its crew walking down the line to talk to the club members and… a tiny vehicle, warty with spiky rivets, a machine-gun jutting from its front. At first, Hiromi hadn't even noticed it.

'A TKS tankette.' Natsumi had turned the engine off and was standing on her seat to get a better view. 'About four foot tall, with armour and weaponry to match. Practically useless for Senshado, though they did used to get used a lot for tankette races. Wonder who got that?'

A hatch popped open on the TKS and one of the discipline committee stuck her head out. She did not look pleased.

'Hello there.' Yoko tapped a fist on the tank's hull to get their attention. 'Everything working fine? Did the maintenance department remember to load the shells? Does your radio work?'

'We have shells' said Ayaka, after a brief look down.

'Not sure about the radio yet. Can anyone see it?' The turret crew turned awkwardly to look around until, with a triumphant noise, Aimi laid hands on a set of headphones. With great ceremony she passed them to Hiromi, who flicked on the radio. 'Channel one's silent.'

'That's because it's me and Mari.' Yoko gently reminded her 'We're both outside, remember?'

'Oh. Yes.' Hiromi felt slightly stupid as she flicked onto channel two.

'... an insult, what are we meant to do in this thing?' The discipline committee girl's voice sounded irate to say the least. Remembering that channel three was their tank, she turned on channel four

'Well in Bolt Action we're a heavy tank, so we should be fairly survivable...'

Channel five 'Honestly darling, you really shouldn't take that sort of thing from him.' The voice had the inflections of the upper class 'If he treats you like that, just dump him, you can do far better I can tell you...' Hiromi realised that the others were looking at her, sitting enthralled by the gossip. She quickly switched to the StuG's channel

'A one, a two, a one two three four, lollipop, lollipop ooh lolly-lollipopper'

Another voice came in in harmony 'Lollipop, lollipop, ooh lolly-lollipop!'

'Lollipop, lollipop ooh lolly lollipopper lollipop!' All four voices stopped for a loud 'POP!' and descending scale from the lowest voice

'Call m' baby Lollipop, tell you why, 'cause his kiss is sweeter than a cherry pie...' Hiromi took off the headphones and wordlessly passed them to Ayaka. Her eyes widened and she passed them on to Natsumi, who giggled.

'Can I hear?' Natusmi passed the headphones up to Aimi, forcing Ayaka to move her foot to untangle herself from the wire. Aimi grinned, and passed them to the inquisitive-looking Student Council girl, who listened for a few moments then tore them off and ran down the line. The crew looked down at the headphone wire.

'Whoops. Alright, Aimi, if you just move your right hand towards Natsumi a bit, I'll unhook it from the machine-gun...'

After much movement and nearly strangling Ayaka, the headphones were back on Hiromi's head with the majority of the wire shoved into her jacket pocket, just in time to hear Mari say 'Everyone ready? Move off in a line after us. And try not to crush the Discipline Committee. Keep your hatches open so you can see properly.' Hiromi stuck her head out of the commander's hatch. Mari was once again hanging onto the back of the turret, with her headphone cable snaking in through an open hatch. Beneath Hiromi's feet, the engine roared into life and with a screeching, clanking sound the metal behemoth turned right.

The Renault at the front was... painfully slow. Hiromi drummed her fingers on the turret top as the procession crawled along at a walking pace. As they rounded a corner (Natsumi stretching in an effort to see where she was going) a girl on a bicycle sped past them, a brown leather bag bumping on her back. Above them, a crow circled like a vulture, which seemed very unfair considering they'd not even had a battle yet. It descended lower and lower, before finally alighting on the Sherman behind them. The manic girl who'd apparently become their commander leaned forward to try and shoo it away. It flapped its wings at her and hopped onto the gun barrel. After a few more futile attempts the Sherman's commander gave up the struggle and the two stared each other down. The crow's solemn attitude was somewhat spoiled by it having to steady itself with its wings every few seconds.

Out of the forest was a large, open plain, with hand-painted signs on either side of the path warning passers-by 'DO NOT ENTER: TANKS OPERATING IN THIS AREA', above a distressing stylised image of a jogger being crushed by a tank. As they passed these, Hiromi's headphones crackled into life, the light for team one shining boldly on the radio console

'Get into an arrowhead once we pass the trees. That means team two move to forty meters to our right and about twenty back, team three the same on the left. Others, do the same behind them.'

_Team three, that's us_ thought Hiromi. 'Natsumi, move left and stick about forty meters to the left of the student council and about twenty meters back.' With a lurch... nothing happened. Natsumi blithely carried on driving forward. 'Natsumi!' Still, nothing. Hiromi paused to think for a moment. Then a spark of inspiration hit her. She braced both hands against the turret top and, with a grunt of exertion, lifted herself on top of the tank. She swayed and nearly fell as the tank went over a pothole. Right, this was going to be tricky... she sat on the edge and, biting her lip with concentration, slid down. Her skirt nearly caught on the machine-guns but after a terrifying, lurching second she was sitting on the hull front. Natsumi's head stuck out of the hatch next to her, her eyes fixed on the road ahead. She tapped her on the head, and Natsumi's head jerked sideways, a surprised expression on her face. Hiromi waved. 'Hi! Could you move to forty meters to the left of the student council and twenty meters behind them?'

Natsumi recovered herself after a moment 'Sure thing! Hang on!' Her hand crunched the gears to second and the tank sped up with a jerk. Hiromi felt a sickening lurch and grabbed onto the bow machine gun for support as the tank moved to take its place in the formation. On their right, the little TKS was trundling along in its spot, and behind them the other three had... rammed into each other and stopped. Oh dear.

'Mari-Senpai? Have you seen what's going on behind us?' Mari looked over her shoulder and after staring for a couple of seconds, applied her free hand to her downcast face.

'Alright, everyone stop.' Mari pulled off her headphones and jumped down to jog over to the tangle of tanks at the back.

'Mari says stop.' The Stridsvagn lurched to a halt, and Hiromi flicked on channels four through six to try and find out what was happening

'... can I do what you say if she can't even hear me?' The girl sounded almost hysterical

'... think we'll have to work out some sort of system. Tell you what, I'll tap your shoulders for left and right, center of the back means stop or go, depending on whether or not we're moving, and both shoulders means maintain formation... Ah, yes, reverse could be tricky...'

'Honestly, what were those other two doing? It's not like the instructions were difficult...' The voices all blended into one

Hiromi switched off the channels. Natsumi began idly humming what sounded like a military march of some kind as the three tanks slowly pulled apart from each other. Mari jogged past as the tanks drove to take their places 'Get the engine started Natsumi, I think we're moving again.' The tanks drove off in an attempt at the formation Mari had asked for. A few hundred metres away, someone had set up a collection of targets.

The Renault stopped behind a line of sandbags. 'Right girls, when you get in line with us, stop. We've got some targets set up to practice shooting, should be instructions in your manuals on aiming and so on. Try not to shoot over the backstop, the school'll be very upset if we accidentally kill someone.'

'Pull up behind those sandbags. I'm going to go back in the turret. Any idea where the manual is?'

'It's... ummm... I think it's by Ayaka's feet somewhere, I just kind of chucked it behind me. I'll help you look when we stop.' The tank ground to a stop and Aimi held up the manual triumphantly

'What does it say about gunning?' Aimi flicked through it

'Gunnery... section three... part one, turret operation... I am out of office at the moment, please forward any translation work to the office in Kyushu, Fukuoka, Minami-Ku, 3-26-13. This could be tricky.' Aimi's hand wandered around the turret ring until eventually she found a lever which looked like it did something. On pulling, sure enough the turret began to turn with a loud whining from the motor. 'OK, that works, now does it turn back the other way?' She tugged the lever in the other direction. Success! The turret turned back to aim at the target. 'Right, now what's the range... this thing has a rangefinder, I'll bet.' She squinted down the sight. 'Any idea how big the target is?'

Hiromi shrugged and flicked on channel 1. 'Mari-senpai, how big is the target?'

'Two metres!' From their right, a loud BOOM sounded as the Renault flung a 37mm shell into the air. This slammed into the ground, some distance from the target.

'Mari say's it's two metres. Across, presumably'

Aimi bit her lip with concentration, mumbling numbers to herself. Without warning, her fingers tightened on the trigger and... nothing. 'Is this loaded?'

Ayaka opened the breach. 'Apparently not. Give me a second.' From their left, another BOOM sounded as the Ram's payload flew out and smashed into the high earthen mound serving as their backstop. With a grunt of effort, Ayaka slid a shell into the gun and slammed the breach shut. 'Loaded!'

'Thanks.' Aimi adjusted the gun up very slightly and took another quick glance at the manual. 'Cover your ears, girls.'

**BOOOM! **The blast shook the whole tank and the turret space filled with smoke. Ayaka coughed and tried to fan the smoke away from her face. 'Did you hit it?'

Aimi squinted down the sight. 'Nope. But we came close. Load another one!' Ayaka opened the breach, but then suddenly jerked her hand away.

'OW! HOT!' She sucked on her burnt fingers and glared at the uncharitable gun.

'Ah, that's what these must be for!' Hiromi held up a pair of thick leather gloves that had been sitting on the radio. Ayaka grabbed them and pulled them on before once more assailing the breach. The hot shell case was pulled out and dumped on the floor and replaced with a shiny, fresh shell. Hiromi looked out of the hatch as the shell scored a crater in the ground in front of the target.

'Don't worry, I've nearly got it I'm sure! It just takes a while to get used to a new gun! Load me up another one, Ayaka.'

* * *

A half-hour or so later, everyone was running short of shells and Mari called a halt over the radio. 'You've all done pretty well today. And I think everyone scored at least a couple of hits. Everyone get back to the garages and we'll dismiss you.' The drive back was uneventful, and Ayaka passed the time drawing a face on one of the shell casings with nail varnish.

'I shall call him Tarou.' she said as they climbed out, weary and dirty, to line up in front of the garages.

'Alright, everyone here?' asked Mari. 'You've got a feel for the tanks now, next session is Thursday and we meet our instructor Saturday afternoon, so we've got a fair bit of work to do before then. Can everyone do Saturday, 2PM? Make sure to see Yoko before you go, she's got badges for all of you. Thanks for coming, and see you on Thursday!' Mari's face got he expression of one who's wondering whether she'd just repeated herself as the group split up and wandered over to Yoko, whose hat was now filled with the red-and-grey Senshado badges.

'We've got some sewing to do.' said Ayaka as she picked her badge up. 'See you tomorrow!' With waves and assorted goodbyes, the group broke up and went their separate ways. Hiromi pocketed her badge and, re-adjusting her bag on her shoulder, began the long trek back to her apartment.

_(Thought for the day: Victory and defeat are temporary. Reputation is forever.)_


	3. Chapter 2: The Instructor

A sob.

A small, breathy sob and another, the sound of a girl hunched over alone and in pain.

And the sobs grew in volume as behind them a guitar melody could be heard, in an agressive minor key and the sound built and built to a fever pitch and the sobs turned to a scream, a scream of pain and rage, almost inhumanly long as the drumbeat pounded the scream was replaced with a harsh woman's voice. 'Something's weird inside my head, 'cause I hear noises...'

A hand emerged from under the covers and forcefully turned the alarm off. Hiromi muzzily wondered what had possessed her to set it to Crucified Barbara's 'Creatures'. It was Saturday morning and she had lessons to go to. So. Out of bed. Easier said than done. After some consideration, she decided to start by removing the duvet. With at least part of the appeal of staying in bed gone, she was able to roll out and onto the floor. Time to stand up, ooh, that's tricky. Into shower, lean against wall for a couple of minutes enjoying the hot water, remember that there are Things to Do today and commence washing long, dark brown hair with the blonde dip dye that really needs to be redone soon. Condition, rinse and out to towel off. Search through drawer for clean underwear then through pile on floor for sea-green skirt. Dance around room trying to put on slightly-too-small tights. Take white shirt out of wardrobe and button up while searching for blue second-year neckscarf. Wander through apartment until shoes are eventually located under desk. Prepare breakfast of steamed rice and dried horse mackarel and eat while vaguely watching a newsreader discuss how another person had been caught claiming a pension for someone who'd been dead for years. Hiromi placed her bowl in the sink, looked at the time, panicked and grabbed the sea-green jacket from its hook by the door before slinging her bag over her shoulder, opening the door and stepping out into the world. The streets were near-empty outside, and Hiromi strode down them at a brisk walk towards the school.

As she approached the school, more girls in the Madalberta uniform joined her. 'Hey Hiromi!' Natsumi waved at her from the other side of the street. Hiromi waved back and brushed past the red-throated Discipline Committee girl standing at the door to take down the names of the late. First was Homeroom, down the corridor, turn right, second door on the left with Miss Lu, who'd just come to the school and still sometimes got lost then on to double history with Mr Ito, who had the wide eyes and intense manner of someone who'd spent a large chunk of his life learning this and would make you do the same if it killed him. After history a fifteen-minute break, which Hiromi spent discussing the last two Senshado sessions with Ayaka, who now had a small family of shell cases stacked up at the back of the garage. The bell sounded and Hiromi moved onto Classical Literature with Miss Arakaki, who had iron-grey hair and always smelled of pipe smoke. Finally, chemistry, covered by Miss Arai, who normally taught physics and never once took her eyes off her notes and then at last, the week's school was ended! As agreed, she met the rest of her crew by the front gate, Aimi running and making apologetic gestures; her last class was with Mr Fujiwara, who worked to the lesson plan, not the bell, and thus frequently overran.

'Where do you want to go for lunch?' asked Hiromi, to which the others responded with a chorus of non-commital 'errr...'s

'I saw a tank cafe, just opened, a couple of streets away.' Natsumi was trying unsuccessfuly to conceal her enthusiasm. With no better ideas, the group set off. The tank cafe was a smallish brick building, the tank-based logo sitting proudly over a door which had been stylised to vaguely resemble a bunker's. Inside, the cafe was almost empty, but for a young couple holding hands over the dregs of their coffee and a woman in her mid-thirties, who had just lit up a cigarette. A uniformed waitress bustled up to her.

'Excuse me ma'am, there's no smoking in here. And could I have your order?' A small pad of paper had appeared in her hand, as if by magic. The woman glared at her while taking a long drag on her cigarette, the end glowing cherry red. Then she took it out of her mouth, blew smoke into the waitress' face, stubbed the cigarette out on the table and, as the piece de resistance, placed the still-smouldering end into the girl's top pocket.

'I'll have a bottle of sake. Large. Stewed pork,rice and green salad, followed by a chocolate cake and a double espresso with a shot of vodka.' The woman talked fast, with almost no pauses and when she finished she glared at the waitress for a few seconds. 'Why are you still here?' The waitress bowed nervously and scuttled off.

'Excuse me.' she said as the Stridsvagn crew moved to sit at a table. Menu cards were tucked neatly into the condiments rack and the girls perused them for a few minutes.

'Everyone ready to order?' Natsumi's hand was poised over the tank-shaped waitress call.

'I guess.' Hiromi put down the menu and Natsumi pushed the button, giggling with glee at the tinny cannon sound. The waitress marched over and saluted. Her eyes were a little red-rimmed

'May I take your orders please?'

'Yes.' said Ayaka. 'I'll have a medium frappuchino and a chicken salad, with a lemon cheesecake to follow. Incidentally, did you know your pocket's on fire?'

The waitress looked down at her smoking chest. 'Oh...'

* * *

'Sorry we're late!' The Stridsvagn crew walked briskly into the big yard in front of the garages, where the rest of the Senshado club were milling around their tanks. 'We just completely forgot the time!'

'Not to worry, the instructor's late too. Just get your tank out and give it a check over, we left a space for you.' Yoko clicked her fingers as she remembered 'Oh, yeah, we have internal radios now! Catch!' Yoko threw a clump of throat mikes at them, which Aimi made a very passable attempt at catching. Still, a slight knock wouldn't damage them, surely?

'Is it just me, or does the Student Council's tank look different?' Ayaka kept glancing over her shoulder in the Council's direction

'You're right.' said Natsumi after a couple of seconds hard study. 'They've switched it. Looks like a SOMUA S-35, or possibly S-40. See the kind of fat-bellied shape? One of the best French tanks of the war, fairly fast, good armour and gun. Shame about the turret...' The crew climbed in and Natsumi started up the engine, already fairly practised after just a few days' training. Hiromi leaned back in the hatch as the tank nosed into the light and pulled up in line with the rest of the tanks. The TKS on their right also seemed to have changed slightly.

'Did its gun grow?' Indeed, the TKS' machinegun seemed to have been replaced by a much larger weapon, almost as long again as the rest of the tankette. Admittedly, this length was not difficult to achieve. Further discussion, however, was curtailed by what looked like the offspring of an ill-judged night of passion between a tank and a motorbike flying around the corner at an inadvisable speed, followed by a massive cloud of fumes and dust. The girls scattered like frightened geese as it sped into the yard and screeched to a halt, the tracks kicking up sparks. The rider got off and rolled its neck around, before reaching up and pulling off its goggled helmet, shaking out dirty, dark hair. Then, just as she had done in the cafe, their instructor pulled out and lit a cigarette.

'Oh dear...' said the voice of Ayaka from just behind Hiromi.

'Good afternoon girls! I'm told you were expecting me!'

Yoko quickly walked forward. 'Yes, thank you so much for coming, it's a great help. So far, we've...'

'Know how to operate your tanks?' The woman took quick drags from her cigarette between sentences

'Yes, and we've...'

'Taught them formations?' Yoko blinked smoke out of her eyes

'Yes, and we were...'

'Basics of gunnery?'

'Yes, we've done a...'

'Rules of Senshado?'

'I don't think...'

The instructor brushed Yoko aside and leapt to stand on the back of her kettenkrad. 'Rules of Senshado: One, don't deliberately injure anyone. Two, don't do things which'll put you in danger. Three, once a tank's popped its flag, don't keep shooting it. Any questions?'

The whole Senshado team stood in shocked silence. 'Good! Captain and vice-captain, put your hands up!' Still, the group stood dumb and paralysed. Finally, Mari's hand rose like a worm afraid of the early bird. She was joined at once by Rin Watanabe of the Discipline committee, while Shizuko looked around and _dared_ the rest of the group do anything about it.

'You and you' the instructor pointed to the Ram and Sherman, 'are with Blondie. You other two tanks, you're with the TKS. Blondie, take your team off first, find somewhere nice to set up. The others will come and get you in about five minutes. Do try to stop them.'

'Sorry Sensei, but my name's Mari...'

'In which case, Mari, take your team off first, find somewhere nice to set up. Your vice-captain's team will attack in five minutes. Get going.' Mari looked from the instructor to the Discipline Committee and decided not to make a fuss about the vice-captain's sudden appointment.

'Alright, four and five team mount up and move out!' Mari clapped her hands to hasten the scramble to get in their tanks. Yoko rushed over, slid into her seat and started the engine. The three tanks moved down the dirt track out of the forest, and the instructor watched them for a moment as she finished her cigarette and ground it into the dust beneath her heel. Then she lit another.

'Sensei?' the self-appointed vice-commander had walked up and tapped the instructor shyly on the shoulder. She turned slowly to face her. 'What sort of tactics would you advise?'

'Shoot them. I don't know the ground, so how am I meant to tell you? Your cannon isn't going to go through anything but the rear armour on those tanks, and even then only at short range. The Stridsvagn can probably get through the side armour below 500 metres, and the front on the Somua, and the StuG can probably penetrate all sides below 500 metres. Except perhaps the front of the Sherman, so don't try to shoot that. Also, bear in mind that it hasn't got a turret, which could cause problems if it tries to fight up-close. Meanwhile, their guns can definitely take out your TKS but they'll have trouble with the other two.' She sucked in smoke greedily and blew it in the vice-captain's face. 'Hopefully you can work with that. I'm going over to check on the others. Get going in three minutes.' She threw her cigarette away, pulled on her helmet and roared away, leaving Rin coughing in a cloud of dust.

The Discipline Committee girl walked over to her tankette and climbed atop it. 'OK, listen up people! Somewhere outside this forest, the Student Council think they've laid a trap for us! What they don't realise is that we know that, and we're going to turn it on them! We'll go down the path in single file, then go to arrowhead once we leave the treeline. The MOMENT that we come under fire, Shizuko and I will advance straight at them to try and draw their shells; we're fairly small, I doubt they'll hit us. StuG, keep back and try to hit any sides which expose themselves. Stridsvagn, your job is to circle round, we'll tell you which side, and try to hit them from behind. Between us, we should break up their formation, making them easy prey for the Barbershop girls.' she flashed a smile in the direction of the StuG crew. 'Now I'm not going to lie, this won't be easy. They will fight back, and they will fight back hard. But I've seen you in the practices and I know that in any battle, there is no-one I would rather have behind me than you. I know that you will fight until your tracks break and your guns overheat and you will do yourselves **proud**, sisters! The forces of the student council will be scattered and destroyed and we will advance, victorious, pushing ever onwards until all our foes are defeated! ARE YOU WITH ME, SISTERS?'

The Stridsvagn and StuG crew looked at each other and exchanged mutual shrugs. 'Yeah, I suppose so.' said the StuG commander. 'Let's go make scrap metal.'

Roaring engines, screeching tracks and the tanks set off down the path, the commanders' heads stuck out of the hatches. The gap in the trees got steadily closer, and Rin stretched up even further for a better view. The StuG, in the middle of their line, suddenly veered off to one side and crushed a 'Tanks Operating In This Area!' sign. 'Stay in line!' came Rin's curt voice over the radio.

'Sorry about that!' came the reply from the StuG. 'At least now we know that it's a bad idea to sing whilst we're moving!' Rin replied with an unpleasant grunt as the tank destroyer cheerfully meandered back into formation.

'We're leaving the forest. Keep your eyes peeled.' The tanks spread out, the Stridsvagn taking the right flank. To their side, Hiromi could faintly see the railings of the side, and a couple of vaguely people-shaped dots. She made a mental note not to fire in that direction. In front looked clear though, nothing but rolling plain as far as she could see, unbroken save for a few straggly trees dotted around, the lake, shining blue and slightly rippled with the motion of the schoolship and, peering out of the reeds, the Ram tank, which was suddenly obscured by a puff of smoke. Oh...

'CONTACT FRONT!' Rin seemed to have forgotten that the radio meant she didn't need to shout, but it galvanised the other two crews into action as the shell slammed into the ground a dozen metres in front of them. The TKS charged forward, Shizuko flooring the accelerator, and the steady bangs of the autocannon were added to the engines' din. The StuG stopped and blasted off a round towards the lake as Natsumi tugged on the drive stick and the tank grumbled as it turned to the right. Aimi meanwhile began the turret turning, biting her lip with concentration.

'Where's the enemy?' came the sound of the StuG over the radio. A BOOM from the Stridsvagn's gun rocked the whole tank and Ayaka's hands shoved a new shell home

'The Ram's in that clump of reeds, about... how do we say distance from a landmark? A bit to the left of that big cherry tree!' Hiromi peered out of the top hatch. Where were the other two? She was fairly sure she saw a WHOOOOSH she felt herself duck into the turret as the shell slammed into the ground just behind them aaargh, aaargh bad terrifying very bad stop panicking. She had to stop panicking. They missed, didn't they? She slowly uncurled from her foetal position at the bottom of the commander's position and banged into the turret's back wall as Aimi fired off another shot.

'The Student Council are in that clump of... Bayberry trees, I think they are! Our cannon's not doing anything!' The TKS was now completely invisible but for the dust cloud it threw up. Squinting, Hiromi just managed to make out the Somua.

'Too far! Natsumi, turn about thirty degrees left, we'll try and get in line with the lake then turn left. I'll tell you when. Aimi, keep up fire on the Ram.' she switched to the StuG's channel. 'Who are you going for?'

'The Student Council!' came the reply. 'We still can't see where the Ram is!'

'By the lake. We'll try to flush them out!' The Stridsvagn was in line with the near bank of the lake now 'Natsumi, left turn!' The tank ponderously turned and Hiromi pulled the hatch closed on her head. The Ram was far too close for comfort now. 'Aimi, fire into their flank as soon as we stop!'

'Got it!' Aimi had her glasses pressed almost against the sight, something she probably regretted when a bump in the ground threw them all forward as the tank lurched unpleasantly.

'Natsumi, break now!' Natsumi hauled on the drive levers and the huge vehicle screeched to a halt. Aimi pulled the trigger.

BOOM! The cherry tree was decapitated by the too-high shell. Hiromi saw the commander jerk her head in their direction and shout something. The Ram lurched into motion, crushing its reed camouflage. 'Follow them! Keep on their left, try to make them turn!'

'We see them!' A shot from the StuG impacted into the ground, short of the Ram.

'They got us!' cried Rin over the radio. 'The Student Council are behind the woods now! Still no sign of the Sherman!'

'Natsumi, right twenty degrees!' The tank turned as the Ram sped off in front of them. 'Now left, straighten up again!' Another hot shell casing emerged from the back of the gun and knocked against Hiromi's boot. Already, the turret floor was littered with them. 'Try the machine guns, see if those'll panic them!'

'Ooh, I've never got to use this yet!' came Natsumi's voice as she wrapped a hand around the m/39's handle and squeezed off a long burst. Tracer fire from the three guns spattered against the Ram's side, and they obediently turned to the right.

'Get 'em, team six!' The StuG's gun sounded and the Ram was knocked back a meter. A second's pause. Hiromi peered through the vision and clearly saw the little, white flag pop. 'Nice! You're all getting cake for this!'

Cheering over the radio and a triumphant chorus of 'You're in the sniper's sight, the first kill tonight, time to die!'

'Let's get the Somua next! Right turn, Natsumi!'

'I always seem to be turning right!'

'StuG, advance with us, we'll try and do something similar with the Student Council!'

'Got it!' The StuG rumbled into motion, far off to their left. 'Hang on, I see something behind you...'

BOOM! The tank veered suddenly to the right. 'Natsumi! What happened? Are you OK?'

'We've lost our track!' Hiromi opened the hatch and peered out. The Sherman had appeared from nowhere.

'Turn the turret! They're to our right!'

'Got it!' Aimi hauled on the turret controls with all her might.

'What's happening?'

'We found the Sherman! We've lost a track!' BOOM! The shell smashed into the Sherman's front and... bounced off. 'They're still coming! Reload!' Ayaka slammed another shell home. A shell from the StuG furrowed the ground.

'Hang on, that's the Somua! Sorry, you'll need to look after yourselves.' A loud BANG as the Sherman's shell hit the corner of their tank. BOOM! Another shell did little more than scratch the Sherman's paint.

'It's no good! The armour's too thick!'

'Keep firing! Try to hit their tracks or something!' The Sherman was very close now. It veered to one side, its turret spinning round to stay trained on them.

The Sherman's shell slammed into their side with an earth-shaking BANG! A second later, there was an anticlimactic 'Pop!'

'Blast.' said Hiromi, looking at the accusing white flag. 'They got us, team six. It's up to you now. Give 'em hell.'

'We'll do our best!' The Sherman drove past them, and the commander waved at the dirty Stridsvagn crew emerging from their hatches. After a moment's consideration, Hiromi waved back. After all, they'd be on the same team next time...

The StuG reversed frantically. A shell flew high over the little Somua as it and the Sherman moved to encircle the low-slung vehicle. In a last act of defiance, the machine-gun stuttered out an insult in the direction of the Somua until finally a shell from the Sherman slammed into the side armour and the StuG was immobilised. 'The captain's team wins! Congratulations to all involved. Everyone leave your tanks and gather by the lake. Recovery vehicles are on their way.'

The instructor's kettenkrad bounced across the cratered field towards the crushed patch of reeds where the Ram had hidden. By the time the Stridsvagn crew had got there, the Discipline Committee (Rin still looking less-than-pleased at the loss) and Ram crew had already made themselves comfortable, the Ram crew with a picnic blanket on which they all sat cross-legged and the Discipline Committee... standing upright, eyes-front with their backs to the river. Each to their own, supposed Hiromi. The Sherman and Somua drove up and were closely followed by the instructor's kettenkrad, the StuG crew clinging precariously to the back. The group spread themselves around the flattened reeds as the instructor lit up and fixed Rin with a penetrating stare

'So, vice-captain, what went wrong there?'

Rin gained a hunted expression. 'We didn't find the Sherman in time?'

'Not bad, finding it earlier would have been helpful. The real problem was the way you split your force up. As it was, six team didn't know who they were meant to support, and you ended up paying the price for that.' She turned to the whole group. 'Remember, one tank is always far easier to defeat than six! If you let yourselves get split up, you will be surrounded and outnumbered! Of course, you weren't much better, Mari.' She took a drag, blew a cloud of smoke and turned to the surprised-looking blonde 'I was listening in on your radio, you hardly talked to the others at all until the end! You **have** to **keep up** the **communication**.' she slammed her fist against the kettenkrad's handlebars for emphasis. 'As it was, you only beat the TKS because your tank was so much more superior; and believe me, most of the time that will not be the case.' she took a drag and pointed to Higa, the Ram's tall, elegant commander 'You, on the other hand, weren't bad. Told team five exactly what was going on so they could trap team three. Although perhaps I should thank your radio operator for that.' the twin-tailed girl smiled shyly. 'Though next time, it would be better if you,' she pointed towards the Sherman crew 'were to turn up before they get immobilised.' A final drag on the cigarette and it went under her boot heel. 'You've all done well today. Let's hope you can do even better on Monday.'

'Sorry Sensei,' said Mari, 'But the next session is on Tuesday evening.'

'It is.' replied the instructor. 'But your first proper match is on Monday at two, against Saunders Girls High School. Your teachers have given permission.' She paused expectantly. 'This is where you say 'Thank you, Lieutenant Hamada, for organising us a match at such short notice.' Go on.'

'Thank you, Lieutenant Hamada, for organising us a match at such short notice.' came the chorus as Lieutenant Hamada lit another cigarette.

'Gives me a warm glow inside to make young people happy.' The instructor's face remained expressionless. 'Saunders tend to use as many Shermans as they possibly can, but by some negotiation I've managed to make sure they only use six on Monday. However, they will probably still tend towards swarming anyone who's split off from the rest of you.' she took a drag on her cigarette. 'So don't get split off! The Sherman's not a bad tank by any means, but it's not a super-weapon. You can match them in open combat, or,' another drag 'You can beat them by avoiding open combat. If you hit them in the back, they will go up. With their Shermans, they'll go up in flames. See you on Monday.' She dropped her cigarette, pulled on her helmet and gunned the kettenkrad's engine.

'Well, that was fun.' said the StuG's commander. 'Now, I believe there was a promise of cake?'

_(Thought for the day: Win when the odds are in your favour and you are a hero. Lose when they're against you, and you are still a fool.)_

AUTHOR'S NOTE: If anyone knows where exactly the Stridsvagn's machine-guns are, I'd be very pleased if you told me. I know there's four, and I'm fairly sure there's one in the hull and two co-axial to the main gun, but I've no idea about the fourth...


	4. Chapter 3: The battle

'Oy, Hiromi!'

Hiromi shifted in bed, her eyes still closed

'Hiromi, this is your phone! I'm ringing!'

'Go back to sleep...' muttered Hiromi

'Hiromi, quick, there's not much time!' A hand emerged from under the covers and crept across the floor until it reached the glowing phone and hit the answer button.

'Hello?'

'Hi, it's Mari. Can you call your team and get them to come down?'

'What...' Hiromi stifled a yawn. 'What time is it?'

'Quarter past five. Can you call them quickly? We need to be down there at six.'

'Why are you calling me at quarter past five?'

'Hamada just called me. Says the match is starting at eight and got very offended when I told her she'd said two. Don't bother with breakfast, she says Saunders always lay on a good one. Be down at six.' The line went dead and Hiromi yawned again before sitting up and scrolling sleepily through her contacts.

'Whassgoinon?'

'Morning Natsumi. Time to get up. We have to be at the garages by six.'

'What? Why? What did I ever do to deserve this?'

* * *

Five minutes to six, and Hiromi was standing in the middle of a group of girls swaying from tiredness, at least two of whom had put some clothing on backwards. Lieutenant Hamada looked irritatingly perky and well-turned out, and was sipping from a thermos between puffs. Waking up the Stridsvagn crew had not been easy; Natsumi needed everything explained twice, Ayaka slept through her ringtone at first and Aimi had sworn at Hiromi for a full minute before she could get a word in edgeways to explain why she was calling. Half-asleep, Yoko pushed a trolley holding three large boxes of Madalberta-Green overalls

'You lot need a proper uniform.' said Hamada. 'Your school uniforms have far too many bits that could get caught, so you'll all be getting measured up on Tuesday. In the meantime, pick one that looks like it fits.'

After some consideration, Hiromi eventually picked a medium and discovered, on putting it on, that the girls of the Maintenance Department who the overalls had been designed for were rather broader in the shoulder than she. With the sheer amount of baggy material, it did not seem like a great improvement on the school uniform. Ayaka was too tall for any of the overalls and white flesh poked out at the wrists and ankles, while Aimi and Natsumi used a roll of tape that someone had left in the garage to take theirs in a little. If Hamada's aim had been to make them look more like a proper fighting force, she had failed utterly.

'We're docking in ten! Get into your tanks and drive down to the front ramp!' The group wandered over to their tanks and started up the engines. As they drove through the streets, Hiromi saw an occasional face peering out of the window at them, and the odd early-morning jogger was forced to duck out of the way as their massive vehicles negotiated along the narrow roads. When they reached the front ramp, a queue had already built up and the driver at the rear looked nervously at them as they lined up behind him.

The site for the battle was a small and passably pretty island which catered mostly to tourists. As they docked, Hiromi saw a group of pale-faced Westerners snapping pictures of their schoolship; was it such an unusual sight for them? Of course, it could just be the unbreakable tourist habit of taking pictures of everything... The enormous Saunders schoolship already seemed to have docked, and sure enough they had set up their convoy of support vehicles. At the base of the ramp was what looked like a welcoming party in the green jackets and blue shorts of Saunders' Senshado team.

'Hey there! St Madalberta's, right?' The leader of the delegation was... big, blonde and bouncy. 'Y'all had breakfast yet?'

'Afraid not.' replied Mari, who was once again riding outside her tank.

'Well we're gonna have to do something about that then! Follow us, we'll show you the way.' The Saunders girls climbed into a jeep and set off. Their leader hung out the back, keeping up a shouted conversation with Mari.

At the Saunders camp, Hiromi grabbed a plate and at once the smiling girl behind the counter slapped a number of waffles on it that Hiromi had heretofore thought of as unreasonably large. She then slathered it with enough maple syrup to drown a relatively small ostrich and handed it back with a cheerful 'Y'all enjoy your meal now!' Hiromi left with the impression that the word 'y'all' worked a lot less well in Japanese than it did in English. She found the rest of her crew sitting on a group of fallen trees and staring despondently at plate piled high with pancakes.

'There's just... so much. How are we meant to eat all of that?'

'I don't know.' said Hiromi, sitting down and taking a large bite of waffle. It tasted like sugar and indigestion. 'They won't be too offended if we leave a bit, right?'

'So, this y'all's first match?' The Saunders captain and Mari walked by them, and Hiromi felt sure that there was something fundamentally wrong with that sentence. 'My first time as captain. Kay left last year, great girl she was, I'm a bit nervous to tell y'all the truth. Hope y'all'll go easy on us!'

'And the same to you, I suppose.' mumbled Mari around a mouthful of pancake. 'So how many of the team are new.'

'Oh, not so many, we've had a good influx but there's still a fair few girls who were freshmen last year...'

A whistling from speakers, set high atop telegraph poles. 'Would everyone please make their way to the the central field, the match between Saunders High and St Madalberta's will commence in fifteen minutes.'

'That's our cue!' said Ayaka and, picking up the half-finished plate of pancakes, walked over to the food booth 'Thank you so much for this, it was really lovely.'

'You're most welcome!' replied the serving girl. 'Guess y'all weren't so hungry today then?'

Ayaka chuckled politely. 'Guess not.' the group wandered over to the central field, where a large, tracked screen advertised that there was ten minutes to go before the match started. The stands had a few dozen people in them, mostly tourists from the look of things. A pale-faced man, middle-aged man waved at the Saunders captain who waved back enthusiastically.

'Win it for your old man, honey!'

'Captains and vice-captains, step forward!' The Saunders captain's head snapped round, and she skipped over, followed by a freckled, murderous-looking girl with short, brown pigtails. 'Shake hands!' The two captains extended hands and shook. The Saunders girl winked as the judge said 'Now everyone, bow!'

'Let's have a great match!' came the chorus.

'Wonderful! Remember, whichever team takes out the enemy flag tank will be the winner. Everyone, to your tanks, you have...' the woman looked at the big screen 'Eight minutes.'

'And remember,' said the American girl, talking to her vice-captain as they walked away, 'No listening in on the radio this time!'

* * *

'Everyone got shells?' A chorus of yesses came over the radio. 'Anyone still hungry?' Mari's question was answered with pained groans. 'Everyone had enough coffee?'

'No, but if I have more my hands will be shaking so much I could audition as a backing dancer for a jazz group. Any more questions, or can we go blow some people up?' The StuG commander sounded vaguely irritated.

'Does anyone want to go through the plan again?' An overwhelming majority voted NO. The radio was silent for a few seconds. 'Anyone got any good jokes?'

'Three women die in a car crash.' Higa's eloquent voice sounded over the radio

'How unfortunate.' The StuG commander was still fairly snappish

'Yes indeed, and they go to heaven and the angel says 'Alright, you can come in, just whatever you do, don't step on a duck.''

'A duck?' asked Hiromi.

'So they came in.' the ram commander ignored the interruption, 'and heaven is covered in a sea of ducks, quacking and fluttering around as far as the eye can see. Well, they're very careful but after a few days one of the women steps on a duck! And at once, the angel appears with a great chain and the ugliest man you've ever seen, hairy, beer belly, the lot and he says 'Now I am going to chain you together for all eternity.''

'Seems a little harsh'

'Those are the rules in heaven. You demonstrate your agreement by dying. So the other two are horrified, and they're really careful, but then a few weeks later the second woman steps on a duck! And the angel comes again with another great chain and an even uglier man, drooling, only one tooth and he says 'Now I am going to chain you together for all eternity.' So the last woman is utterly mortified and constantly watches her feet, and a month later the angel appears with a chain and says 'Come with me.' So she goes, and he takes her to the most gorgeous man in existence...'

'Satoshi Tsumabuki.' said the Sherman commander at once.

'If you like. And the angel says 'Now I am going to chain you together for all eternity.' And he does that and goes away, and the woman says 'Ah, what did I do to deserve this?' And the handsome man says 'Well, I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!'

Silence. 'Oh. I get it. Ha.'

'St Madalberta's, are you ready?'

'Yes!' said Mari

'Then the match will begin in three... two... one...' a rocket flew into the air and exploded into a cloud of red sparks. 'BEGIN!'

'Let's move out!' The six tank engines started up and the Madalberta team moved off, the flag nodding above the little TKS which sped off down a jungle path. 'Remember, keep in contact, and if anything goes for you get out of there, you can't fight it!'

Although the island did have a certain number of clearings; the largest around the port where they had come in, the vast majority was jungle, green, fetid and line-of-sight reducing. The Saunders team was nowhere to be seen. Their Sherman led the group, its turret turning from side to side in an attempt to see everything. The Stridsvagn brought up the rear, Hiromi peering nervously from the hatch. The enemy could be a hundred metres away and they wouldn't know.

'I see a gap. Crushed foliage.' the voice of the Sherman's commander. 'Could that be them?'

'Could be' said Mari. 'Everyone halt. Team five, check the hole. Team six, cover them. Team three, take rear arc.'

'Turn us around, Natsumi.' said Hiromi. The path was narrow, and Natsumi began executing a complex, multi-point turn. 'Watch out, you're about to hit that tree!' Natsumi halted and drove forward again, when suddenly there was a massive BANG behind them.

'Contact right!' The Somua blasted a round through the trees back at the Sherman which had just fired.

'Natsumi! Turn left! We're facing directly away from them!' Natsumi crunched gears as Hiromi stood up in the turret to see... another Sherman coming up the path behind them. 'Contact rear! Aimi, shoot them!'

'Got it!' BOOM! The shell smacked into a tree off to the side of the path. The Sherman's reply went high, showering Hiromi with leaves.

'Right, team four, try and flank the one on the right! Team five, move to support team three. Team six... try not to get flagged.'

Another round scythed through the trees on the right and scraped the Somua's top armour. 'We can't get through! The foliage is too thick!' Team five seemed to have got stuck.

BOOM! The Stridsvagn's round smashed against the Sherman's turret side. The Sherman slammed into reverse, firing another overly-high round. 'They're retreating to the rear!'

'Don't pursue! It's what they want!' Ayaka slammed another round home and Aimi fired a parting shot, which scored the ground in front of the Sherman. A second later, it rounded a corner and was gone.

'Retreating to the right as well!' shouted the Jumbo's commander.

'Alright, they know we haven't got the flag tank with us now! Get back into line everyone.'

'That could be tricky.' said Higa. A hatch popped open on the Somua, and Hiromi could make out Mari's blonde head peering from it.

'Oh my. You really are stuck. This could be a problem...'

* * *

'Alright, lines in place?'

'Yep!' replied Hiromi and the Jumbo commander. She patted the turret in front of her. 'This brings back memories a bit, eh? Back when you were working on that farm. Did you enjoy being a tractor?' _I'm talking to an inanimate object. I really need some sleep._

'OK, start pulling in three, two, one, go!'

'Forward!' Natsumi gunned the engine and the Sherman beside them did the same. The vegetation groaned and complained, branches snapping until finally it released the ram from its clutches.

'Great! Right, we've wasted fifteen minutes now. Get going. Same order as before.'

'Excuse me.' The Sherman edged slowly past them on the narrow path to resume its frontal position.

'According to this map, there's a clearing a couple of hundred metres down this track. Teams four and five, you go across first, there's another path opens up about a hundred metre north-west, you'll see it. Cover us when we go, etcetera, we've gone through this enough times.'

The two tanks set off, turrets tracking nervously. Apart from their engines, everything was quiet, save for the birdsong and the ever-present cicada trilling. Suddenly, all the radios crackled to life at once.

'THEY'RE HERE! ALL SIX OF THEM! SAVE US!' Rin's voice was punctuated by the sound of booming guns and even the rattle of machine-gun fire.

'Where are you?'

'GRID REFERENCE...' Rin paused and there was the sound of a bullet ricocheting from the hull, '436078! HURRY!'

'Change of plan! Teams four and five, turn south. And hurry up, even machine guns could knock them out!'

'Always changing your mind...' the two tanks spun right and drove off. The Somua drove off after them.

'She said all six were attacking. We aren't going to get ambushed, come on!'

The StuG ahead of them surged off, and after a moment's hesitation Natsumi followed.

'NOW WE'RE AT 435083! COME ON!

'They're close!'

'They're here!' The Jumbo blasted a shell at the rear end of a Saunders Sherman, its turret turning too slow to respond as its flag popped. From behind it, the TKS sprung like a priest from a strip club who'd just seen the archbishop pass.

'THEY'RE AFTER US!' Rin swerved crazily to get around the line of Madalberta tanks. A shell whickered through the trees above them and another bounced off the Jumbo's front.

'Team five, hold them here until we tell you to retreat! Everyone else... retreat! Have I already said that?' With a parting volley, the Madalberta tanks reversed down the path as the Jumbo angled itself to block the way.

'One coming round to the left!' The whole group's cannons spoke as one, and the Sherman's track sprang off like a wounded snake. 'It's immobilised but not knocked out!' said Higa, squinting through the trees.

'Leave it! Just keep retreating!'

The sounds of battle drew further and further away. Ayaka tapped Hiromi's leg. 'Do you see any from Saunders?'

Hiromi popped the hatch and looked around. 'Don't think so...'

'Good. I'm going to dump these cases.' Ayaka opened a side hatch and began to throw the soot-stained shell cases out. The line left the trees and drove through the clearing to yet another of the labyrinth of forest paths before Mari was finally happy.

'Alright, everyone stop. Team five, retreat back to our position. Turn right as you leave the trees, then hug the treeline till you reach the second path. Turn down that, we're waiting at 421092.'

'Got it!' came the reply from the Jumbo

'Team two, come in, how are you doing, where are you now?'

'416135! HAVE YOU TAKEN THEM OUT YET?'

'What?'

'Weren't you going to take out their whole team?'

'No... no, that would have been quite difficult. We were just going to rescue you. Are you... still running away?'

'Of course!'

'Could you... stop. Please?'

'Ummm... you know a second ago when we said that we were coming back to link up with you?' the Jumbo's commander sounded rather shaken.

'Yes?'

'That situation has changed somewhat.'

'What do you mean?'

'They got us. Firefly I think it was, had a gun the size of a house. Also, they fixed their track.'

Mari took a deep breath. 'TEAM TWO, GET BACK TO 421092 RIGHT NOW!'

'We're coming, we're coming...'

Suddenly, the nose of a Sherman appeared around the corner. 'CONTACT REAR!' Aimi blasted a shot at it, too far to the right... Ayaka grabbed another shell and shoved it into the breach as a Firefly appeared behind the first Sherman, its long gun aimed at them like an accusing finger... _I really regret accepting the rear position_ thought Hiromi as the shells slammed into their armour. A second's wait, and the flag popped. 'They got us. Sorry.'

'Not your fault. Everyone else, advance, quick! We can't fight them like this!' The line roared off, leaving the Stridsvagn alone as the Shermans drove past.

'Hey, y'all did pretty good!' called one of the commanders as she passed.

'Thanks!' shouted Hiromi. 'But the match isn't over yet!'

'True!' came the distant shout of the Saunders girl.

* * *

'Where'd THAT Sherman come from?' The Stridsvagn crew had been sitting atop their tank and getting bothered by mosquitoes for fifteen minutes when yet another Sherman in Saunders' colours appeared from the clearing. This one, however, was gunless and had a large crane attached to the back, two girls hanging onto it engrossed in a flickering screen which had been crudely bolted to the front.

'Sorry to keep y'all waiting! This forest's confusing, know what I mean?' The commander was a cheerful brunette with an oil-stained jacket. 'Could y'all hook this up for us?' The girl climbed out of her hatch and, together with another who crawled from the turret began to lower the crane, releasing a large hook as the M32 Recovery Vehicle slowly turned around.

Hiromi climbed out and attached the hook. The two girls on the other end strained at the winch until eventually the Stridsvagn tilted upwards. 'Looks good!' The commander rapped on the driver's hatch and the Sherman conversion started off, dragging the stricken Stridsvagn behind it. 'Come have a look at this. We'll fill y'all in on the bits you missed.' The screen was currently showing a large hex map, with blue and red shapes moving around on it. 'There's a commentator down by the big screen, but we'll try to explain what's happening. So basically, when y'all got knocked out we chased you for a bit but then lost you when y'all split up. We lost another 75mm Sherman, and y'all got your Ram taken out. Your flag tank is still wandering around lost. In fairness, so is ours...' The girls watched in silence for a few seconds as the camera showed a Sherman Firefly lumbering through the undergrowth. The commander looked lost on her own, and was chattering nervously on the radio.

BOOM! The girls jumped in shock as the StuG III fired into the Firefly's flank. The little white flag popped and the StuG shouldered the immobilised tank out of the way as it left its undergrowth hideout.

'So, three tanks each now!'

'Yup.' said the Saunders girl, who was chewing her lip a little. The remainder of the Saunders tanks had formed a line to go down a narrow path, the flag tank in the centre and the commanders hanging from their hatches. 'Could go either way, I guess.'

The camera cut again, this time to one with 'StuG III' written in the top right corner. 'I didn't know the tanks had cameras on them.'

'Oh yeah. Usually on the turret. Makes for nice, visceral... oh God, is that what I think it...' A flag was nodding proudly in the undergrowth ahead of the StuG. The Saunders girl let out a hiss like an angry kettle as a shell from the StuG teased the white flag up. 'Guess that means you...'

A white shield, with the star-and-lightning bolt of Saunders appeared on the screen, emblazoned with the legend 'Saunders Girls High School is victorious!'

'What?' said Ayaka.

The camera cut to a shot of the white-flagged TKS. Its crew, so far as could be told from the silent footage, were extremely unhappy about something. In the background, the StuG's smoking gun could be seen through the undergrowth.

* * *

'How could you not realise it was us?' Rin was incensed.

'Sorry, we just saw the flag and...'

'I mean, we're so much lower than a Sherman! How could you have got us mixed up?'

'Sorry, it's just that...'

'Hey, that was FUN!' The Saunders captain bounced over, a toothy grin plastered across her face. 'Try to aim better next time, huh!' The girl playfully punched the StuG captain in the shoulder. The barbershop girl's eyes were downcast, tears seeping from the corners, 'Hey, honey, it's OK! You did good apart from that!'

'Alright, I see I need to step in here.' Mari walked up to Rin and tapped her on the shoulder. 'Rin, do you promise not to run off again?'

Rin adopted an aggrieved expression. 'I don't know what you're...'

'Good! Aika, do you promise not to shoot our flag tank again?'

The StuG commander let out a non-committal snuffle.

'Good! Let's go have a bath, I'm FILTHY.'

* * *

Hiromi lay back in the hot water and let out a sigh like a contented lizard. The team had finally woken up, and after soaking for a while, Yoko had done her best attempt at an inspirational speech, chewing nervously on a strand of hair during pauses. Gradually, the Madalberta team stepped out of the hot water and made their way through the steam to the changing rooms. After a few more minutes soaking, the Stridsvagn crew exchanged glances and left the water.

'So what're we doing next session?' asked Ayaka as she towelled off her hair.

'Hamada said we'd get uniforms. Apart from that, I dunno.'

'Isn't the tournament coming up soon?' asked Natsumi.

'Oh yeah... will we be doing it?'

* * *

AN: Sorry this is so late. And short. I dislike having exams


End file.
